Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
