I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
