in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Randomize