Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
