like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Randomize
