I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
honey bunches of taint.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
