I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
