just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
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