I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
