you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Randomize
