Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize
