I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
my liver is dry heaving
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Randomize
