yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
