so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize