there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
