After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Randomize
