We're like a lot better than the average bears
You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
