Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Randomize
