Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
