What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
