whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Randomize
