i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
She even gives head with a lisp.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
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