I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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