Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
