i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
