It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
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