How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
