i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
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