My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize