I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
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