i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize