my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
