Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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