i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
