i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I just found puke in my bra..
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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