A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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