don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Randomize
