walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
