Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
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