the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Randomize
