I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
