school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
