So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
My vagina is very pro this idea
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
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