Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
