Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
