There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize