I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
