I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
