my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Randomize
