I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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