So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Randomize
