I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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