this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
