I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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