the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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