I'm drive I can fine osifer
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
