oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize
