Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
