Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
