HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize