I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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